Hamming It Up! By Jeanne Robertson I took after the grandmother who didn't cook rather than the one who cooked well. Too bad. My husband Jerry loves country ham, grits, biscuits and that most southern of traditions -- redeye gravy. I like them too, but prefer to order them at restaurants. Several days before a holiday of years past, I asked Jerry what he would like for a gift. It was the last time I gave the man a choice. He chose the items above, and placed special emphasis on the redeye gravy. He even added something like, "It can't be difficult to make, honey. A lot of people do it." "No problem," I assured him, and immediately telephoned my "cooking grandmother" in Luverne, Alabama where babies are given the recipe for redeye gravy when they leave the hospital. She gave me the following directions: "Fry the ham in a frying pan until brown. Take the ham out and pour the grease in a little bowl, leaving  the browned drippings in the pan. Add a tablespoon or two of coffee to  the drippings in the frying pan, heat and pour into the grease, making  the red eye in the redeye gravy." Well, it certainly sounded simple. Unfortunately, however, if you read back over her directions, you'll notice she didn't say a word about first cooking the coffee. I fried the ham and set it to the side. Measured out two heaping tablespoons of coffee grinds and dumped them in the drippings in the frying pan. A few minutes later I spooned the gritty concoction  out of the frying pan, added the grease, and proceeded to pour it all over the top of the biscuits. I was so proud when I put it in front of Jerry. I'll say one thing for him. He tried. He truly tried to eat those biscuits and whatever it was that I had  put on top of them. When he didn't rave, I soon asked, "What do you think?" "It's different," he said, chewing slowly. "What do you mean?" "I'm not sure," he mumbled, as he worked his tongue around in his mouth. "It's the first time I've ever had redeye gravy stuck between my teeth." Happy Holidays! Eat out! Jeanne Robertson, professional speaker and author, can be reached through www.JeanneRobertson.com. Photo by Kleeberg Studio.